One area in where I have struggled is what femininity should look like for a single woman. Because the Lord made the woman to be a helper, the contours of biblical femininity are usually sculpted through relationships with others - as wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt. Though I am definitely a daughter, sister, and aunt, I am not (yet) a wife or mother. But I know that God created me female in his own image, and that he has given me this gift of singleness in this season of my life. These are not mutually exclusive concepts, but sometimes I still wrestle with how to express them both to the glory of God.
In late 1998, I moved to take a job as part of a church-planting ministry and to serve in a local church pastored by the pastor I met in South Africa, C.J. Mahaney. A year later, I attended a series of seminars on Titus 2 taught by his wife, Carolyn Mahaney. Through her teaching, I realized that of the seven qualities Paul urges Titus to have older women teach to younger women, only two are explicitly directed at married women and one to mothers. That leaves at least four for all women, married or single. Despite my marital status, I was to be self-controlled, pure, busy at home, and kind. That is a tall order no matter how you look at it, but it does not mean I can ignore the other three qualities. There are implications for single women in the commands to love husbands and children as well as for wives to be subject to their husbands. Based upon this passage, the following are some ways in which God has given me the grace to apply the Titus 2 virtues in my life and genuinely enjoy my femininity as a single woman.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
How To Be A Single Titus 2 Woman
Working with young adults means one thing for sure, relationships. Working on purity, working on a clear Biblical vision of what marriage is, and working on those struggling with singleness. One thing I have told many, is to not wait on the sidelines for that "special someone" but to live a godly life now, to live with reckless, passionate love for Jesus now.
Carolyn McCulley offers some great wisdom from her own personal experience being a single woman, on what it means to be a single Titus 2 woman. How do you be a woman in pursuit of honoring God, when so much of what the Bible talks about for women is linked to marriage and motherhood? Carolyn attempts to show that it can be done.
Here is an excerpt:
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2 comments:
Thanks for this, man.
Sometimes it can be maddening to be a single girl (especially when you feel like you might be called to stay that single and as a result, childless) in a culture that is understandably so marriage focused.
Carolyn McCulley is a blessing, and I say that as a single man. I and about twelve other people once had lunch with her when I lived in D.C., but for some reason, I didn't realize who I had had lunch with until I got home-- and I had even read her blog previously!
Anonymous, I know it's difficult. More importantly, God knows, and He cares. I don't even feel called to be single, so this (long) season of my life can be particularly challenging-- but again, God knows and cares, and He is in control.
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